hi welcome to my world blah blah heres the drama.i had a blowup with my dick head of a best friend about the goings on of yesterday. hott couldnt describe my emotion thouroughly enough. im jolly now.power of music i suppose, but i wrote this rite n tha middle of my funk..
Y is it easier for me to express myself thru writting then over the phone r face to face? I used to ask myself that all the time but I figured it out. I'm hella emotional. Its not really a personality flaw but it is a pain n the ass. I cry when I'm frustrated cus that's what I have control over. I can't write a 7 page text message tear friend but if I have to say the words I'm tearing up. Dickhead makes me wonder y I even bother. He knows how to push my buttons. But if u know how to make me mad is it really an accomplishment wen I get there? Is this friendship toxic and I don't see it? Y do I always have to be at my boiling point, talkin bout fck him this is too much work and give his ass the coldest shoulder before he realizes that he went to far? Idk these r not questions I can answer myself. And this is just a friendship so now ask y would I rather be single? I put so much of myself n my friendships that I'm too exhausted to be n a relation ship. For somebody who swears she's to chill for drama I find myself in a lot when it comes to dickhead. Is it worth it? That's what I continue to ask myself.
i think i will post our text converstion later so u can see why the hell i steamin beaman dude is truly a piece of effin work
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