fckn brats.. glad i was never a kid

first off let me start by saying that security gets no respect..i am a top flight security officer [get 7 laughs now]

i was at working minding my own business wen i see these 3 scruffy ass kids kickin around a wet floor sign

Me: yo can u please not kick the signs around [walks to pick up the sign]

Pizza Face: sorry officer
Musty McSnaggale Tooth: we wont do it again
Bi-Focals:we was just leavin

[walks to the front door kicks another sign and run]

Me: [yells] you little mothafuckaas!

..security gets no respect. please believe i went searchin for those little so&so's ready to get it poppingston but they disappeared. damn them and their fast little teenage legs

that eff'd up my mood. some1 wrote dick fart on a leather chair..wtf? no, they really wrote dick fart... i repeat wtf?

no that didnt end my night. then i talked to dickhead for like 3 hours and somehow had the same argument we had game night, only this time i didnt plan his death and my escape to cuba. if we werent so similar our friendship would be perfect. he would just be comfortable with the natural order, im right ur wrong so fall back. nope not dickhead, he told me we are similar because i think im he shit and he is the shit. he says that we are both #1's but in this friendship i am #2 he also said i will never be right wen we argue, i say why and he says..BECAUSE.

*Crickets

yes that is where his statement ended. with a because..

i looked at my phone several times during this conversation because i was convinced that there was some kinda problem it. i shook it & i asked if he fell asleep and woke up drunk cus the things that came out of his mouth were crazy. no worries, i was actually quite amused and yes entertained