Security Guard Chronicles

SCOOTER MAFIA STRIKES AGAIN

ughh never fails ever friday this pack of goons i call Scooter Mafia come to my job and eff shit up! every single friday there is a scooter mafia related incident report. picture 6 white kids w/ money ages between 10 & 12, not a care in the world, and u can picture scooter mafia.

First they came scooter thru,scuffin up the floors, and damn near runnin down this couple of old fools. i apologized on their behalf, and they tell me to "do my job & get those kids under control".. i proceed to suck my teeth and give them a nuclear eye roll then mozey right along..fck they talkin to?! went to the parking lot and caught these money ass cracka playin n the trees!
..another incident report then i caught the mafia playin frisbee indoors like this is a damn beach or some shit and found my grownass in a game of monkey in the gotdamn middle.. ahh they r goons to the letter!

yes i did get played by lil crackas tonight so what!

i got tired of being harassed by the mafia i tried to find me a nice lil cutty spot and hide out, but my co workers was truly on they blues clues shit and kept finding me! gawd!

i hid in this family bathroom that actually looks like a living room with the couches,candles, lil pinecones and such,, i did about 2 hours before i thought it was clear nd came out to this




and a tipped over sign. these kids need a a good HADDUKEN to the chesticle!

Tell'em why u mad C'

I can't leave work until my relief shows up, unfortunately my relief & I share a bloodline so this skally think she can waltz her ass into work when the freakaleak ever. WRONG! 5 or 10 minutes is fine, 15 and I got an attitude, 30 I'm blowin yo phone all the way up. But I do not need to get a call from my lesbian ass coworker informing me that my cousin aint comin n a hour after u scheduled to start. But that that aint even the cold part, these hoes tryna rope me into a lie, tambout some "tell victor Alyssa came n til 1 but got sick and left" I laughed like a damn hyena. Picture me throwin my head back & hollering! Then picture me lit.tra.lee screaming iM SNiTCHiN, & yo ass is grass hoe!

Watever, fast forward to an hour later (2m'fn AM) my supervisor comin n askin me every question n the book except how's the damn weather, and me getting n the car. I stopped @ the gas station, bought a black&mild(I'm stressed shit) and got gas. Back on the road some1 please tell me y it was soooo foggy I couldnt see a damn thang,drivin slow enough for someone to walk up & jump n ma car or for the damn demon fugly ass wing man from jeeper creepers to jump on my roof and get busy. I aint mollywhopped her ass in years so she must have forgot ma pimp hand is skrong..but imma learn that ass just wait! Ughh I'm irritated as frick!

As I Cc it: dime?

When less then average looking, and even average to moderatly cute, broads constantly talk about how pretty they are, this is a life fail and a face slap in the making. i honestly think its a front, because with the amount of shallow ass negroits walkin this earth u would know if you are actually that pretty. females with a so called bangin ass body r the worse because they feel with the attention they get that they are actually pretty but there is a difference between being
"thick&fckable" and actually being cute,pretty or beautiful. i get confused as to what a dime is anymore b/c last time i checked that was a perfect 10. lets do some math shall we? jacked grill -2 pizza face -2 fire breath -3 stankin ass attitude to match that breath -5 already ur a -2.. ass +3 t-go-bittys +3 pulled together outfit +2 total that up and u got urself a NICKLE. so it would take 2 of u to make a dime.. did they change the value of us currensy and forget to tell me? thats dimes, As I Cc it

Riddle Me This

idk where it came from, just popped into my head but i was wonderin if most of these rappers claim to be doin it to get out their respective hoods then y yo monkey ass madd at the next nigga who rapped and got out the hood? all this yip yap about "u aint n the hood" wtf? if i was a rapper yall would hate ma black ass cus soon as i blew i was on the next thang smokin off the block. whats the point of callin that a goal if when u have the opportunity to u stay and blassst anybody who chooses not to?
just a thought..

As if my life wasn't hard enough..

Twitter.com may be McPoppingston on the east coast, but the west coast..not so much. and actally i should just say the bay. so day after day im tryna explain wtf twitter is to these tired ass mofo's still checkin they myspaces and they lookin at me like me and Rockstar Wayne been sharin Styrofoam cups. fail! now not only am i constantly refreshing for updates,i have the damn nerve to sing a song about a site my people aren't familiar with. the audacity of me!

listen now:
http://www.boutdatblog.com

With all that said, my new addiction has a theme song and that is "Met Her On Twitter" Ice the Villain& LCD mr.BOUTDATMONEY two of my favorite tweeples along with Lil Dee created thee Twitter.com anthem. gawd i cant go no where without screwin ma voice tryna imitate the chorus. just shameful. give it a listen, dumb catchy.production is top dollar. just an all around winner..and im not even being biased, i honest to Bob like the catchy som'bitch!

(twitter.com/icethevillain)
(twitter.com/BOUTDATMONEY)
(twitter.com/yblildee)


..& since u gettin your net geek on download Ice the Villain's L.@.Me Mixtape. *LOOK AT ME* www.Icethevillain.com

Nite Cap Recap

ok so last night during the late night past get the twitter draws hour but before the wake up wats crackalackin hours, i was up. i keep street walker hours so 4am means nothing to me. i started tweeting left childhood things that happened to me, so u can know that i wasnt born crazy, i waas raised to be crazy. there is a difference.

maybe i'll write another book, after i finish the driving book. anywho read,enjoy & silently judge...

My Tmail address is "herroyalfreshness" my old aim name was "so fresh Cc so flyy" ... if i could kick my own ass i would
I wore black for 2weeks when B2K broke up *true story my mom told me if i didnt perk up she was gettin me prescription drugs
I named my car, calling her oout of her name is the quickest way to get punched in the back of the head
I tried and failed at the Nelly Band-aid and the LL Cool J rolled up pant leg
In 5th grade I got a whoopin for lyin, i was so distraught i popped off all my beauty supply store finger nails and aint told a lie since
I tried to shape my brows with a razor in 6th grade and shaved 1 off by mistake. moms made me report ma ass to school bright & early the following day...for this her ass is goin in a home
I wore a braided wig to school in elementary school. it fell off during an intense double dutch tourney, i was traumatized, and til this day and beyond i aint wore a weave.. they r sister
I faked injury and illness on a day to day in order to avoid running the mile in gym class.. after that stopped working i started just skippin gym all together. in my defense it was before lunch and i refused to work myself into a tizzy before i have lunch
i got my hair braided into 2 piggy ass tails..10th grade year. slap me if u see me i will kno y
i cut this crackaa's (JANELLE BENTLEY) hair in the 3rd grade cus she marked me w/ a mothalovin marker and called me "blackey" i grabbed her shit and safety scissor chopped her shit. the consequences that followed was 101% worth it!!!

maybe i"ll drop some more later, but now u can see a little bit of y Cc Rydah is a ..well rydah! i been ridin right on thru this bullshit for 20 years and im pretty damn sure im keep on truckin!

ok ok im done but i promise for those who read regularly (hello to all 10 of u mofo's) i will keep givin u wat i got. and more often then i been doin

im back at it

hey there its me again
what u dont remember? its Cc..
naw not that trick the other Cc..
i know i been gone for a minute but damn im back so quit pressin me!

...that is the conversation me and my triflin ass blog had as i tried to sign on. just a minor misunderstanding but we settled that, anywho,
i been droppin all my randoms on twitter recently so i've been neglecting my blog. i've been meaning to do more security guard chronicles cus i have storys for that ass. i also been meaning to load pics and also start a new segment i call(in my head) " As I Cc it" but um ah err ahh um.. shit happens.

*quickly tho, As I Cc it is just where i review a thing or two, give my "bloggy not really important to anybody but ME" opinion. I've been working on my review of the Drake mixtape but honestly i dont damn well feel like it. chalk that one up to the game..